Why Your Back Won't Release (And What to Do About It Today)
Jun 12, 2026
The thing most women don't realise about back pain
Here's something I tell almost every woman I work with who comes in carrying lower back tension: the pain isn't just a physical problem. It's a nervous system problem.
That sounds strange at first. But stay with me.
When we're under stress, real stress, the kind that builds over years of running a household, raising kids, working, holding everything together, our nervous system quietly shifts into protection mode. The muscles around the pelvis, hips, and lower back tighten. They stay tightened. Not because something is wrong with your spine. Because your body thinks it needs to be ready.
The psoas muscle, which runs from your lower spine down through the front of the hip, is particularly good at holding this tension. It's one of the few muscles in the body with a direct connection to the nervous system's stress response. If you've been wondering why stretching doesn't seem to help, why you feel tight again two hours later, this is often why. You haven't given the nervous system a reason to let go.
What I use instead of more stretching
In our Yoga to Transform Back Pain course, we don't lead with aggressive stretching. We lead with softening.
One of my favourite tools for this is the muscle release ball, specifically the MR ball from mymrball.com. It looks simple. It is simple. But placed correctly against the pelvis while you lie down in half butterfly, it creates a kind of organised pressure that encourages the body to stop gripping.
You're not forcing anything. You're just giving the tissue a signal: it's okay to let go now.
I filmed a free video recently showing exactly how to use it, no bolster needed, just a mat, a blanket, and the ball. I wanted to make it accessible because I know a lot of women think they need a full set-up to do this kind of work. You don't.
My own sacroiliac joint story
I'll be honest. I went into a recent retreat weekend with my right sacroiliac joint giving me grief. That low, deep ache at the back of the hip that radiates if you sit too long or sleep on the wrong side. Familiar?
By Sunday it was gone. Not masked. Gone.
Using the same exercises I teach in the course, the same ones in that video. I say this not to convince you of anything but because I think women over 45 are too often told to just manage their pain rather than actually resolve it. There's a difference.
How to do it
The setup takes about two minutes. Here's the short version:
- Lay your mat down with a blanket on top. You want to be able to slide your knee freely.
- Take your muscle release ball and position it at the inner crease of one hip, where the pelvis dips inward. It should run along the pelvic bone. Keep it quite soft, don't fully inflate it.
- Lie face down over the ball, resting your forehead on stacked fists or a block.
- Bring the knee on the same side out into half butterfly.
- Breathe. Slowly. Let the ball do its work. Stay for a few minutes, then gently move the knee forward and back.
- Roll to the other side and repeat.
That's it. Some women feel the release almost immediately. For others it takes a few sessions. Either way, you're talking to your nervous system. That conversation matters.
Want to go deeper?
The free video is a good place to start. But if back pain has been a companion you're ready to actually say goodbye to, our Yoga to Transform Back Pain course walks you through a full progressive sequence, from Week 1 basics right through to restoring movement and confidence in your body.
And if you've been curious about our Drop a Dress Size challenge starting 15 June, back pain, energy, bloating, weight, it's all connected. We work on the whole picture.
You deserve to feel easy in your body. Not just manage it.
With warmth, Yoga to Transform
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