Yoga to Transform (01:16)
this week we're talking about love. Woo! Woohoo! Aha, nice. Nice, yeah. So yeah.
Romantic love is s sort of what people think of first, isn't it? It is. It is definitely what people think 'cause I think that's the thing that people yearn for the most, isn't it? Is that looking for that love from someone outside of them to really like fill them up and complete them. Yeah. Jerry Maguire β You complete me. β Yeah, yeah. That's not all it's cracked up to be though, is it? Mm, no. I reckon and also too from a Course in Miracles perspective they always
say
like that Jerry Maguire line you complete me it's like the biggest β you know Hollywood story like it's actually not what we should be looking for. So you know someone to complete us right? Right because somebody doesn't want a half completed Autry or a half completed Christina do they? They want the full package complete. So maybe does that mean we have to start with self
Love. I think we do. I think we do. And I know 'cause I've I've had this conversation with a few people and I and I know β like that triggers people as well. It's like, you know, don't tell people they should love themselves first and all of that stuff. But I actually think, from the perspective of really attracting in your other half, like you have to be a whole circle and they have to be a whole circle and then you're two circles that kind of
You know, come to you together. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but you have your own separate Yeah. I think it I think it's β you know, it it I don't know how you describe it, but sometimes people can talk about it as that tall poppy syndrome or something, you know, β they're you know, they're so into themselves. But that's not really what we're talking about, is it? What we're talking about is appreciating every part of yourself. Really. That you have to be
you know, have made friends and peace and in love with yourself. All the bits, the good bits, the bits, bits, the whatever the you think bits, just yourself. And so having a good understanding of
of how you are in the world and your hopes and dreams and the things you're good at and things you want to learn about and the things you're interested in. Having a good knowledge of that actually completes you, makes you somebody that is attractive to somebody else. Who's perfect for you? Yeah. Yeah. Right? 'Cause it's like you have to know β what you value, like what are your values, what's important to you, what's your purpose here in life? Because β your purpose isn't just to find someone to love you. Okay for some people that might be.
I don't know, you know, there's some some people it but having a partner in a family and and caring and nurturing for them is their purpose, but you need to be clear about that 'cause you know, I I work with so many people who get to that point where they've got the house, the picket fence, the two children and the great c successful career or the husband who has the great successful career and then they're like
I'm still miserable. And I was one of those people, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, it was like that's actually I'd kind that that wasn't the stuff that was gonna fulfil me. Like having my children obviously fulfills me. β but I wasn't following my path and I d didn't know what was important to me and what I valued. Right. β so you kinda wake up one morning and it's like, β now what, right? Yeah, yeah. So you didn't feel like you had some purpose f for the purpose.
Yeah. So you had to find out those things that you did love. Yes. And what you were about in the inside. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But there's the p I think the important thing even before kind of learning to fall in love with yourself and create a life that you love, because that's really what it's all about, right? It's living your life to the fullest
That you can. Yeah. And it's your life, however you want to do it, whatever is important for you. Yeah. Like like different things bring different people joy, right? Like you and I we love yoga. In case you hadn't realised, we love yoga. We think it's the best thing out. We do. Yeah. β we totally do. β but
People just like it. you know. And then my son loves making films and my daughter loves art and I know people that love accounting and Yeah gazing or being doctors or you you love birds. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Birds or some people love cars, you know engines and how things work. Yeah. And and we've all gotta find what we love. And β
But I I think that there's that feeling worthy of living a life that's full of love and even knowing that that's even possible. So even before we get to that self love and even before we get into that stepping into the river of doing this or exploring this is gonna bring me to β living a life my fullest life.
You have to be willing to open to living a love filled life, right? So it's that So what does that look so yeah you say that but what what does that kind of mean? I know because everyone's like but I do want love and it's like yeah but do you? β I feel like I need a you know a checklist. You know, do I? So what what kind of things would be on a checklist like that? So opening to receive love. Yeah.
like if you remember Rumi's β oft quoted poem, which is like your job is not to seek for love, but merely to remove all the barriers to love that reside within you.
Right. So the first checklist is really about looking at all the grievances that you hold. yes, we've had a chat about our suitcases of things we drag along behind us. But that's right, because if you if you're constantly referring back to β b but I couldn't do that because of something else that happened or I
It's sort of like not being worthy, isn't it? Because you're still remembering all those things from the past. Yeah. Forgiveness talk. Yeah. Forgiveness, that's right. Hope you checked out Thankful Thursday forgiveness. Yeah. If you haven't, go listen to us after this one. Yeah. So there's this whole like because the the light of love, that's actually innately who you are as a person. So you have to actually open to receive love, but you also have to open to be love. Right? And I know, and this is everyone's like, gosh, time to turn off the tape. Right
Stick with it, we're getting there, we're getting there. Yeah, we'll get there. like i i every spiritual teaching, β every I I think β not that I'm an expert in β theology, like but they teach that like love is is the whole purpose of existence, right? Love is the foundation of existence. Love is what brings us
into life breathes us into life and even Einstein said like love is the glue that holds the universe together. So then we the the biggest illusion we have is that we are not love. Right. We're not lovable. Yeah. We are not loving. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So we yeah can't give it and we don't deserve to get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is BS. Yeah. None of that. None of that. So you actually have to be willing to open to
β living from a place of love and receiving love and and giving it and obviously the the the best way to receive is to give. So definitely it's about looking at all your grievances. What are all the barriers within you that are blocking you from the experience of love within your own life?
Right. Yeah. Yeah. So that that time that that guy dumped you or you felt rejected or you didn't get that job. Yeah, or dad didn't look at you the right way or maybe he told you off or mum y I don't know, locked you in the room. Didn't support you or something. Yeah. But all of those moments, β
become kind of barriers to your ability to live fully in life but if you're holding on to them. Right. Because
It it's the importance of living in right now. This is the moment, isn't it? This is the moment. So that all those things in the past and even all the things that are coming in the next minute or three or fifty or whatever, haven't happened. So it's living now, what's happening now. Yeah. Yeah. Now as every moment you're perfect. Perfect just as you are. Yes. And I mean that's a a really strong teaching in all theologies too, isn't it? Yeah. Perfect as you are. Absolutely. Very lovable. Thankful for being lovable. You totally are lovable.
Exactly. Born like think about a baby. Totally lovable. And a puppy. A baby bird. A little duckling.
So cute because they haven't got any barriers to love yet. And they're just like sitting in this luminosity of their own being. And we just shut that down, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then and we think we have sort of habits. Yeah, we do. And then there's this β obviously biological program that's in our body, which is we you know, have to find a mate and we have to reproduce and β that's just evolution and biology. β but
We get this extra boost of oxytocin to make it work, right? You meet someone and you're like, Woo I like that person. They like ketchup too. Right, okay. But you know, like you kind of start like going, Ooh, we like the and there's and and the food so there's this like β lust, there's this oxytocin, there's this bringing someone to you. Yeah.
And then after about three months, you start to see the real person. And they start to see the real person as well. Yeah. Because sometimes we put on a mask, don't we, to be more lovable? Be more lovable. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And some people can hold it for about three months and then it's gone. There I am, baby. Yeah, this is it. This is the real me. Yes, this is who I am. And β and and and here's the thing, right? Like attracts like. So you will always draw in the perfect person for where you are right now.
And and and God I'm I use the word God, the universe, whatever you wanna like transpose in that moment, β has a perfect plan for your growth, right? 'Cause the universe wants you to lean deeper into love and to step more fully into the rivers of love, right? That it's calling you in every moment. It really is. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Like β Mary Ann Williamson, her book A Return to Love, sh that's that's it, baby. Like
Keep stepping more into the river. Yeah. Jesus was Jesus, he just like he called people like. Yeah, and love is the thing. Yeah. Like every β so it's like so
through relationships, like we're looking for a special person who's gonna treat me special, they'll be special, we'll be special, and you know, get a little bit codependent and all that fun stuff. β when are we gonna do that? Bang for Thursday relationships. But the
you know, attachment issues and all of those things like that really you should have figured out before you start diving deep into relationship because we all come with our own attachment issues. If you don't know about attachment theory, then Google it. β like so so they will the perfect person will come to meet you to shine a light on all your barriers to love.
So if you've got a few Yeah, yeah, well we all did. Do? Yeah, absolutely. That'll be like boop boop boop boop boop.
You didn't call when I thought you should and you didn't put the trash out. You you know what are you doing? You know, the dinner's not cooked or you know, why don't you hang the washing out or whatever? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're spending too much time with your friends. Well good, they should spend time with their friends because they need a life. Yeah, yeah. But they also should spend time with you, like you know, so there's warning signs as well. So it's so y you're sort of saying in some t some senses, and I mean I can look back in my life and see.
That it hasn't been, I met my the love of my life β and when I was 19 and got married and lived happily ever after. That wasn't the pattern for me. I've sort of met people and spent time with them, moved on, moved on, moved on, you know, and now met the love of my life. But actually, those people were important to me because they shined a light on some of the things that I was holding on to about myself. Yes. So that the idea of
β if great if you've managed to meet the right person at the very beginning. Obviously that was your life purpose and the way you went, but some people are just lucky. We're just actually so anchored in love that that It worked. That they just yeah. And had to, you know, almost butt heads with those people in the relationship to finally figure out well actually
I deserve better than that. Yeah, you do. Yeah. I jolly well do.
β and β yeah and β yeah, so I I had some big wake up calls to that, you know, to the things that I was putting up with, you know, near enough's good enough, but it's not really, is it? It's because you're actually saying that y you're only partly deserving of love. Yes. It's about the inside stuff and actually, you know, I deserve the best as you do, as you do. Yeah, totally. And and the more that you step into that stream of like recognizing
what love is and what love isn't. β and and unfortunately not all of us have β been role modelled what love is and what love isn't. We probably more role modelled what love isn't, like control and expectation and demand and putting down and criticism and β hierarchy of who yeah who's do does what and how that works. Yeah. B bullying, intimidation, like you know, and some extreme ends like people who β
violent, you know, and they do it because they love you. No, they don't. that person's got a lot of work to do and y your job's not to heal them. β but anyhow like so that's like there's there's all this what love isn't and then there's all this what love is which β when you're sitting in the energy of that like β it's palpable when you know. β
And and even just being in that energy is very healing and and I think again a lot of the this the β religious texts will talk about that, won't they? How just being in the presence of someone who's embodied love
It's helps powerful. Yeah, it helps you. And I think getting back to why we love yoga, we can be in our well I find that I can be in my own presence on the mat, totally absorbed in the movement of my body to give a real sense of me. Yes. You know, I'm more me when I do yoga and I'm more
lovable. You know, I I love myself more when I do yoga. Yeah. Because it's in the moment. It's it's β perfect as you are. Yeah, anyway, we could go on about yoga. Which we do. We we encourage you to as well. But you know that's the that's part of it, isn't it? B and I it was back to what I said before about being in the moment. You know, all those other things are just thoughts in your head which aren't real anyway. Totally. And and and I think that's why meditation is such an important practice in terms of helping you get over all
those grievances that you carry from the past, all of those areas that you hold shame or humiliation or whatever it might be where you thought you weren't perfect in that moment and you so haven't forgiven it, like shine the light on it because the light will turn it away from darkness into light, obviously. And and be willing to give it up and let it go so that you can live in
love's β presence it you can be love's presence β and then when you're standing in that place β like so you know I've mentioned a few times like my journey with relationships that'll be another one that's another one but you know
At at some point, the first time I did a Course in Miracles, like my prayer was β to heal all the issues that I had with men. So anyway, I thought that like the work that I was doing was you know doing the healing for me. But God like sends the perfect partner for you. And so like so the perfect partner came to really shine a spotlight on all of my misconceptions about men and all of that stuff, and while
was probably th the hardest relationship I've been in. It was also the most healing, right? Because I was willing to β to to allow myself to see all the stories that I told myself about men that this this this person actually embodied. Yeah so that the stories weren't good obviously β
But then like I reflect and and all the people who've come into my life since then who have wanted to be a romantic partner, β have
have been a completely different quality of man and actually like there's been three that I've kind of dated β and all of them would be perfect wonderful partners does that make sense because you I'm attracting from a different level because I cleaned up my side of the street and that's and then that flows out even beyond relationship romantic relationships into the friendships in my life like I don't know about
You but like I've never had as many close and connected girlfriends, or I've never found as close and connected to my family. Okay. Yeah. As I have in the last few years of really, really diving deep into my spiritual practice. But it's because I've learned how to remove the barriers to love. So this is
Although we don't do this very often, we are gonna say that in the next wee while there's going to be a yoga to transform love course, isn't there? Christina. Yes, there is. So as w which is if this is sort of giving you some tingles or some vibes, you know, maybe that's somewhere that you could look into it, connecting all the things that we've been talking about, led by the lovely Christina, who
β It's been diving deep and not that I haven't been but it's just it's been it's been quite a a a process at the moment for you, isn't it? Well I think it's just b I think it's an ongoing it depends on how far you want to go, right? Like and I think my personality.
No it's no end. Always climbing the mountain. But it it's it's She's a Capricorn in case she knows. β Aquarian. Aquarian. you will 'cause yeah I was gonna th say that you were mountain goat maybe maybe she's got some Capricorn in there. but but I think there's that always climbing the mountain in terms of β
And even I remember you reading autobiography of a yogi and he was telling all these stories about all these yogis who had these β cities which are superpowers and they could do all these cool things. I was like, W why stop at handstand?
Why not levitate? Exactly!
Yeah, but I think like there's also some research. β I think it was David Hawkins, β in his book Power versus Force, where you don't burn the plant. No, the plant's getting a bit like β in his book Power versus Force, right, where he has this β
scale of human emotion and energy. So down the bottom is fear and you know, loves it about you're vibrating here and above love is β some other energies. I can't remember. Like but again you can just Google David Hawkins Power versus Force and the hierarchy of energy. and anywho
Basically what what they say is that the more we as individuals move up that scale out of fear and if you we're really honest with ourselves, I think most people live in fear. And fear is not the reality of our our world, lovers, β but we are trained to live in fear. So as you move out of fear and through anger and depression and apathy and anxiety and all those, you know, β low vibration energies and then move into joy and
Happiness and I think peace comes after love, etc. you start not only changing your energy, but you start transforming the energy of the people around you. Like there's a there's actually because our heart math institute β have actually been able to record that the power of your own heart affects the size of a football field, like you know, yeah, depending on how strong it is and how anchored you can be in it, you can really like send out vibrations that touch.
other people's hearts around you. So anyway, the the what I'm taking a long time to say is that if you get to the point of self-realisation, which Maslow in his hierarchy of needs calls it self-actualization, basically about 1% of the population get there. And again when I read this at university I was like, well, I'm going for it. Climbing that mountain. I know it's like self-actualization, that sounds like me. What's your purpose in life, self-actualization? But
a weird twenty β year old. β everyone else is getting pissed. β I was married, so I was pretty weird anyway. But self actual like if you have that height of self actualization, one per cent of the population get there, right? And you can probably think of the ones, the β Saint Teresa, Mother Teresa, sorry, Gandhi, β Desmond Tutu, β
Dalai Lama, like Wayne Dyer, you you can name the handful of people that are sitting in that place, right? If we get someone to the point of being totally sitting in in in love and not being able to tell the difference between β their own individual love versus the divine love that th flows through all of us.
That person can transform the consciousness of the whole planet and pull us all out of fear. Yay. But if we all just do our own work. That's right, and and move our own vibration up one or two steps or fifteen or twenty steps or whatever into the towards love and peace and self-actualization, then actually
It's so worth it for everybody. It's not just an individualised thing. No. Is it? It's the it's the community. It's the being a aware of making more love in the world and Yeah. Peace. World peace. Yeah. And and 'cause it pulls us out of our self interest into actually service, right? β
And that's I think what is so powerful about kind of going through this process of like opening to receive love, like just being open to even believe that love is the ground of being. Then moving into really removing all the barriers to loving yourself, right? And then stepping into using your relationships to see because 'cause you get to the point of, yeah, cool, I love me, which is not a bad thing, that's we want that. β to then now now I have to learn how to love
Everyone as they are. That's right. In the moment. And that's quite hard. Yeah, because people trigger you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, yeah. And then and then from that moving into just sitting in this place of just being love. Yeah. Yeah. And it can take lots of different forms, can't it? Because we're not all going to be
Wayne Dyer's or Mother Teresa's. But it it's how we behave in our everyday life, isn't it? Totally. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, it's yeah, no no, we're not all gonna become those one percenters 'cause I think it is a a dedicated
practice you have to really be willing to remove all the barriers to love's presence in your own life. Hey β and if you're into that check out February. Yeah exactly and the thing is the more you you step into love then β it might be that you just go cool I'm feeling so good because the more you step into self-love the more you
Yeah, enjoy your life, don't you? Absolutely. Yeah. And then the more you step into self love, then the the better person you're gonna be attracting into your life.
And that's β means that that quality of love that you have in terms of romantic relationship or friendships or with your family just explodes. Yeah. And then there'll be bus stops along the way where people go, That's that's far enough for me, right? Yeah. I can see the beauty of this world, I can see that love is the ground of being. I'm I'm good now, I've got a great job, I've got a I've got the picket fence and I love it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then there'll be others like Wayne Dyer and Mother Teresa who are like
Heading to the top of that very top of that mountain. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So what about you? Where are you at in your journey to self-love and love actualization? Mmm. Love to hear about it. So do drop us a line and look out for the Yoga to Transform Love course coming soon. Can't wait. Namaste. Namaste. Thankful Thursday on love. Bye. Bye.
